My favorite conversations with Will begin with “Remember when we were at XYZ?” It typically leads into a fun conversation reminiscing about an amazing adventure or a beautiful place with only happy memories. Sometimes, he remembers exactly where we were, but other times he will include some poignant event that happened while on a hike, drive, or travel day. However, sometimes the poignant event is that I was having a bad day and I was mad or crying or being a less-than-desirable companion, wife, and mom.
When we set out on the road 3 years ago, we knew that it would either be great for our family and our marriage, or it all would crash and burn. There is no way to hide any cracks in a relationship when you are living full-time in less than 400 square feet, so it has constantly been a matter of identifying the cracks and working together to fix them and build back even stronger.
By far the biggest and most persistent crack we have tackled has been my mental and physical health. When we hit the road in 2020, I was taking an anti-depressant for postpartum depression. When it was clear that was not doing the trick, I made dietary changes, started taking different supplements, and focused on being active and getting outside. However, the struggle was persistent.
In 2021, I was diagnosed with premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), and in May 2023, I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). These hormone-related conditions set the tone for much of our time on the road.
But without our adventure, without the time we were forced to be together, without having to slow down and really pinpoint what the issues were, I am not really sure I would have known, or admitted, exactly what was going on. I believe without a doubt that our adventure saved my life and our marriage.
It breaks my heart that we remember some of our adventure days because of my mental health. I absolutely talked Will into returning to the Black Hills in 2022 because I wanted to drive along the Needles Highway without spending the majority of it crying, arguing, and asking Will to pull over so I could have a minute to myself. Instead, I wanted to remember the beautiful, memorable hikes, the changing fall colors, and Bird’s laughter as she climbed over rocks along the trail.
Obviously, I would love to look back on our 3 years with nothing but glowing memories of all we saw and did, but now that I am in a place of stability, I am glad I can look back and see how far I came and how Will has been unfalteringly by my side every step of the way.
Nurturing Adventure 